2 September 2010
This information applies to Scotland
This information applies if you want to split up with someone you're living with. It applies whether you're in an opposite-sex or same sex relationship. The information is not correct if you are married or in a civil partnership.
For more information on ending a marriage, see Ending a marriage.
For more information on ending a civil partnership, see Ending a civil partnership
If you are living with your partner and your relationship ends, you do not have to take any legal action to separate. However, there may be issues about children, housing, property and money to sort out. This can be done either by informal agreement or by making a written separation agreement - see under heading Separating with a separation agreement.
If you have children, a court can make orders about who the children should live with and have contact with - see under heading Children at the end of your relationship.
A court can also make an order about rights to stay in your home and selling any jointly-owned property - see under heading Housing rights at the end of a relationship.
If you are thinking of going to court to sort out disagreements about the children, money or housing, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, a family law solicitor. Lists of solicitors can be obtained from your local Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your local CAB, including those that can give e-mail advice, click on nearest CAB.
If you and your partner are separating, you may need to inform:-
A separation agreement is a written agreement between a couple who have decided to stop living together. It sets out how you wish to sort out issues about money, property and arrangements for the children. Examples of things you might want to include in an agreement are:-
The advantage of a written agreement is that it's easier to make sure that you both understand what has been agreed. It also means that either of you can go to court to change the agreement at a future date. It is advisable to consult a solicitor when drawing up a separation agreement, but you should work out in advance the general areas you want to cover. This will reduce the legal costs. You may be able to get help with your legal costs.
You may find it helpful to use the guidance on family breakdown produced by the Scottish Government at www.scotland.gov.uk.
For more information about help with legal costs, see Help with legal costs.
At the end of a relationship you have no rights to have a say in the children's future unless you have parental responsibilities and rights or a court order.
When you are the biological parents of the children and are not married to each other only the mother has full parental responsibilities and rights unless:-
If you are the father but have no parental responsibilities and rights you still have to support the children financially, see Child Support Agency.
If you are in a same sex relationship and one of you is the natural parent, only that partner has automatic parental responsibilities and rights unless a court has made an order giving parental responsibilities and rights to the other partner or if the child was conceived by donor insemination or fertility treatment on or after 6 April 2009. When a child has been conceived in this way the second partner has a number of options about how to be the second legal parent. You can find more information on the website of the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority at www.hfea.gov.uk. If you are not the natural parent but are living with her/him and have adopted the children as a single person with the natural parent’s consent, you will share parental responsibilities and rights with the natural parent.
If you cannot agree about what should happen to the children the court can make decisions about:-
A court will only make decisions about children if it is in the best interests of the child to do so.
If you do not have parental responsibilities and rights you will have to apply to court to stay involved with the children if your partner who has rights doesn't want you to be involved with the children.
You may find it helpful to ask Family Mediation for help.
At the end of a relationship, both parents are responsible for supporting their children financially regardless of where the children will live. The responsibility can last until a child is 25 if s/he is in training or studying full-time. The responsibility can also extend to children accepted into the family. You may find it helpful to get more details about this from a Citizens Advice Bureau. The father is equally responsible even if he stops living with the mother and even if he is not named on the child's birth certificate but only if he is the natural father. It doesn't matter whether he has got parental responsibilities and rights or not. He can be contacted by the Child Support Agency for financial support. For more information about parental responsibility, see under heading Children at the end of your relationship.
Neither you or your partner has a duty to maintain the other at the end of a relationship if you were not married or in a civil partnership. Financial arrangements can be arranged:-
If you both agree to financial support, this is called a voluntary agreement. It can be written down or it could be a verbal agreement.
You can agree, for example, that one of you will make weekly payments to the other for the support of children, or will meet rent or mortgage payments, household bills, or pay for the children's clothing and holidays.
If you need advice on the options available for arranging child maintenance and for advice on how to set up a voluntary child maintenance agreement, you can contact the Child Maintenance Options Service. Their helpline number is: 0800 988 0988. You can also go to the Service's website at: www.cmoptions.org.
Before you agree on a package of financial support, it may be useful to get legal advice about whether it is an appropriate arrangement. It may also be useful to have an agreement drawn up by a solicitor in case of future dispute. You might get help with the costs of making a voluntary agreement.
For more information about help with legal costs, see Help with legal costs.
The Child Support Agency (CSA) assesses and collects maintenance payments for children who are under 16 (under 19 if they are in full-time non-advanced education).
If your relationship has ended and the children are living with you, you can use the CSA to get financial support for your children.
For more information about getting financial support for your children through the CSA, see Child support for parents who live apart.
In some circumstances, the court can make an order for financial support for the children. It can make an order for financial provision for you or your partner.
A court can make an order for regular payments for specific circumstances, for example, expenses to help with a child's disability. It can also make an order for one partner with parental responsibilities to give money to the person caring for the children. If you want to ask the court to make such an order you have to do so within one year of the date you stopped living together. The court can also make a number of orders about property you have shared. As this can be complicated you should get more details from a Citizens Advice Bureau.
If you apply to court for financial support for the children, you might be able to get help with the legal costs. However you may have to pay towards these costs from money or property you get as a result of the court action. Make sure your solicitor explains the charges properly to you before you start court action.
For more information about help with legal costs, see Help with legal costs.
At the end of your relationship, a court can give you or your partner rights to the home, for example:-
If your partner has been violent to you, you might need help to make sure you are safe in your home, or have a safe place to stay and the housing rights of the violent person may be temporarily set aside whether s/he is the sole owner or tenant or not.
For more information about help you can get if your partner has been violent to you, see Domestic violence.
If you are thinking of going to court about your housing rights after the breakdown of your relationship, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, a family law solicitor or at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
If you and your partner live in owner occupied property and only one of you is the owner of the property only the owner has the right to stay in your home.
If the owner wants you to leave, you have to go unless a court has given you rights to stay. If you have children a court might give you rights for 6 months to stay in the home even when you don't own it. You will need more advice about this.
If you don't have children, you may be able to claim a financial interest in your home if you can show you contributed financially by, for example, paying for improvements or towards mortgage repayments. If you have a financial interest in your home you might be able to make a claim to recover money paid towards the home. You'll need to get legal advice about this. You could get help with legal costs.
If you do own your home jointly with your partner and you decide to leave, you should take steps to protect your right to go back there if you want to. You should try and agree about whether the home should be sold. One joint owner can go to court to try and force the sale of the property. You will need to get legal advice about this. You could get help with legal costs.
For more information about help with legal costs, see Help with legal costs
What rights you have to stay in the home will depend on whether only one of you is the tenant or you share the tenancy. As a sole tenant you can ask the other partner to leave unless a court grants rights for your partner to stay.
If you have children a court can grant rights for a parent who is not the tenant to stay, initially for 6 months.
When you share the tenancy, you have equal rights to stay in the home. If one partner has been violent a court can exclude the violent partner even if s/he is the sole tenant.
You should get further advice from a Citizens Advice Bureau as your rights can be complicated.To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by e-mail, click on nearest CAB.
Family mediation is a way of helping you and your partner sort out disagreements when your relationship breaks down. Mediators are people who are trained to listen to both sides, and to help you and your partner agree on what will be best for yourselves and the children. To use this service, you both have to be willing to go along voluntarily. Any decisions you make there will not be legally binding.
For more information and a national map of local services, see www.relationships-scotland.org.uk.
Some local solicitors may be skilled in family mediation. You can check what is available in your area by contacting The Law Society of Scotland on 0131 226 7411 or see www.lawscot.org.uk.
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