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This information applies to England, Wales and Northern Ireland
The law generally encourages fathers to keep in contact with their children, whether or not the children’s father and mother are married.
Now that you have separated from your partner, it is best if the two of you can come to a friendly arrangement about the care of your children instead of seeking legal help immediately. This arrangement should include who your children will normally live with and how they will stay in touch with the other parent.
You may find it helpful in the long run to write down what is agreed. Bear in mind that this type of agreement isn't legally binding and doesn't give you parental responsibility for your children.
If you and your partner find it difficult to agree between yourselves, you can ask for help from the local Family Mediation Service. Mediators are people who are trained to listen to both sides, and to help you and your partner agree on what will be best for yourselves and the children. To use this service, you both have to be willing to go along voluntarily. Any decisions you make there will not be legally binding.
If you want to get parental responsibility for your children and don't already have it, you can sign a voluntary agreement, called a parental responsibility agreement, with your children's mother.
You will already have parental responsibility if you registered the birth of your child with your partner after December 2003.
You don't have to go to court to make a parental responsibility agreement, although it will be legally binding and you should seek legal advice before making one. To make a parental responsibility agreement, you must use a special form, have it registered at the Principal Registry of the Family Division and witnessed by a court official.
If you and your children's mother can't reach agreement by yourselves and do not both want to use the Mediation Service, you can seek settlement through the courts. You'll need legal advice to do this. You may be looking for two things. The first is a contact order, which will set out arrangements for your children to visit or stay with you. As the children’s father, you have a right to apply for such an order. You will usually be granted this, except in exceptional circumstances.
The second order you can ask for is a parental responsibility order, if you don't already have parental responsibility. Being granted a parental responsibility order means you share with your partner in the responsibility for your children's health, education and welfare. It also gives you the right to keep up direct and regular contact with the child. It can be a good idea to apply to the court for both a contact order and a parental responsibility order at the same time. You may be able to get help with legal costs.
For more information on your rights and responsibilities towards children at the end of a relationship, see Ending a relationship if you're living together.
For more information about help with legal costs, in England and Wales, see Help with legal costs, and in Northern Ireland, see Help with legal costs.
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